AGP Bach is a recorder player, poster, music theorist, hesychast, nobel laureate, lawyer, doctor, essayist, philanthropist, poelmicist, onanist, and transsexual woman based in Montreal, Quebec. Publishing across several disciplines including music theory, religion, and transsexual studies, she holds tenured positions in several small, underfunded mid-40s to mid-70s ranked provincial universities, and sits on the editorial board for such academic publications as Fructilegium and Entomology Next Week. Bach was a 2022 nominee for the Lenin Prize in journalism, ultimately losing out to the lady at Buzzfeed responsible for the quizzes. Prior to her expulsion from the organisation over an indecent exposure-related incident, she was a prominent member of MENSA from 2013 to 2019. The non-disclosure agreement surrounding the exact circumstances of her departure is set to expire in 2044.
AGP Bach is a caucasian female, 5'9" (5'8.5" if we're being generous), with long, frizzy brown hair and big, soft, mournful, light-coloured doe eyes, the gaze of which has been described as 'sultry' (Washington Post). She has a large mole on her left cheek and a stick and poke tattoo of two cats on the underside of her right forearm. Please report any information on her current whereabouts and activities to Interpol's Wanted Persons division via Red Notice by filling out a Wanted Persons Form (select 'Fugitives')