01/04/2023 Feast of St. Mary of Egypt/Εορτή Οσίας Μαρίας της Αιγυπτίας, Compline/Απόδειπνον - yesterday was trans day of visibility, and late at night after spending some time with friends i was harassed by a transphobe on st laurent while getting a late night snack. a completely humiliating and dehumanising experience, and one that i would not talk about if not for how it so effectively and conveniently underlines what for me is possibly the most important takeaway of TDOV, which is how visibility without protection is nothing more than a bigger, brighter target on our backs.
visibility is good and important, it humanises us to people who maybe haven't properly known any trans people before and might otherwise be inclined to hate us out of fear of unknown, it shows people that we are not some far away freakish sexual menace that exists only in drag bars and vulgar films and the bois de boulogne; it shows them that we are good people whose gender identity doesn't pose a threat to their kids or whatever.
but all this assumes a reception of good faith - one that we can't count on in a political climate where hostility towards us is at an all-time high. visibility might humanise us; or, alternatively, it might bring us, already dehumanised beyond the point of no return, to the attention of those who will seek to harm us no matter what. it is not a coincidence that trans women - the demographic within the trans umbrella who are by far the most visible, both by the fundamental nature of our appearance and due to the way that media covers transsexuality - experience the highest rates of violence and discrimination of any trans group. the reality is that in an environment where people are already predisposed to hate and fear the transsexual as a nameless, faceless collective, increased visibility is absolutely a threat to our safety as individuals. and that's why we need to learn how to defend ourselves, train ourselves every single day to not sit down and take shit from people, remind ourselves to stand up and say something, scream and yell and curse and bash back and make a fucking scene. we owe it to ourselves and to each other. attempting to make ourselves respectable and palatable does nothing beyond protecting the order of things that allowed the present defining conditions of the lives of trans people to come into existence in the first place. we need to strengthen our community bonds, establish networks of mutual aid, travel in packs, arm ourselves, teach each other how to scream at the top of our fucking lungs because NOBODY else is going to help us and we need to help our fucking selves. together we can maybe make every single fascist chud wet his fucking pants at the mere thought of the consequences he could incur by messing with the clocky tranny in the pizza pizza
as individuals we can't singlehandedly change the entire social order that oppresses us, but we can certainly take action to change the conditions of our own individual existences and those of our friends. small-scale organisation of close and tight-knit networks of trans people can be the best protection anyone could ask for. part of the bigots' power lies in the fact that they can commit acts of transphobia and even outright harassment and it's no big deal to them. while the trans person victimised will remember the pain and humiliation and shameful anger of the experience for the rest of their life, the perpetrator has the ability to go home and never think about it ever again. this needs to be our first line of attack. we need to STOP LETTING THEM HURT US WITH IMPUNITY - when it happens, don't get fucking shy and walk away, say something, cause a fucking scene, confront, scream and yell and publicly humiliate, throw food or drink if you have it, whatever you can do to make sure the chud NEVER forgets this moment for the rest of their life.
last night, i walked away, and it left me feeling small, powerless, weak, hurt, angry, ashamed, embarrassed, and i'm never letting myself do that ever again. the greatest myth ever told is that when the victim walks away from bigotry, it is with head held high. when we walk away from transphobia we show our weakness, we allow our abusers to hurt us with complete impunity, and fail to provide a reason for them to not pull that shit again. the only way to walk away from a bigot with your head held high is after kicking his god damn fucking teeth in.
-A